Got your bullet proof vest on?

• I think I am never going to sleep for more than four continuous hours again, ever.  By the time Emmeline is sleeping though the night I'll probably be in menopause and Lord knows no one sleeps through the night during that.  Or so I hear.    And I know, all moms (maybe some dads) are sleep deprived when their kids are little; that doesn't make it easier.   Being 41 is not helping either.

• Emmeline is in a phase I describe as "screaming and climbing."  Enough said?   Out in public people stare because she is so loudly bleating one note, "AWWWWWWWWWWW".   She knows many other word combinations; in public she can only make one LOUD resonating vowel.   And, I constantly remove her off chairs or tables.  Dinnertime is hysterical.

• A man recently asked me if Emmeline was my first baby.  Hahahahahahahaha.   Wait, since absolutely nothing about me screams Glowing, Lovely, Young First Time Mom, that means my toddler management looks very amateurish.   Rats. 

• It's almost 10 pm and one kid here still needs to build a bridge for school tomorrow.  

• It's time to decide if the kids get "school lunch" or not for the last part of the year.   It comes out to about $110. a week.   For lunch.   You see the problem.   Yet ... the lure of not making five packed lunches a day is strong, sucking me into the quagmire.   Budget lunch from mom, or all organic, catered lunch at school?   Organic, catered lunch from mom not an option.

• I'm 41 now.  Did I mention that?   With my advancing age I'm bound to start repeating myself so beware, beware, be a very wary bear.   When one acquaintance heard it was my 41st birthday he shreiked, "What?  I'm older than you are?  No way!"    Thanks.  And gee, if you are atleast 42, and I had a baby recently, did you really think I was older than you?  Really?  Like, what, 43?  44?  97?

• We are in the market to upgrade our piano.   Found some great ones, but moved too slowly and they sold.  Anyway, charming piano teacher remarked I should just get a really, really good piano now, because in four years oldest will leave for college, and then Emmie can start taking lessons.   People, let me just confess right now:  I am NOT up for more years of the Indian War Song and Fur Elise.  

         There are limits.